Bangkok to Istanbul and back in 5 days

Woke up at 5.30 am, pulled on shorts t-shirt and sandals grabbed my bags slipped out of air-conditioned family suite and hit the wall of humidy and predawn glow on our little beach in Ko Pangang. Crazy 40 minute taxi ride, grabbed a few weird things to eat from the vendor, lugged my bag onto the 7am ferry for the mainland and squeezed into a seat next to a Thai family, little boy staring at me pushing a little car around his make believe world.

Tried to sleep but ended up thinking of the last 48 hrs, wired shakes at the reggae bar, heading off to the half moon party with a bunch of fun people, not like our epic Cape Outdoor parties but I had fun. Arrived back early next morning slept a few hours and spent the last day taking in our piece of paradise. Had a farewell dinner with our new found island tribe at Soms kitchen, (the best Thai food around) and then onto little bar on the beach, animated discussions, tearful goodbyes and off to bed leaving far too little time for sleep.

Back to the present, disembarked the ferry 2 hours later, big thunder showers on the go and ran through warm big drop rain to bus station for the hour bus ride to the airport. Asia Air fantastic airline, arrived Bangkok Airport with a 6 hours layover, decided on a quick trip into the city and Siam centre, clothing wonderland, kitted myself out in clothes for a few days back in the business world and headed back through 6 pm traffic crush to airport to catch the midnight flight to Istanbul.

Bangkok -Istanbul, what an unlikely combination. Arrived at Attaturk Airport 12 hours and 6 time zones later, 8 degrees a chilly morning feeling slightly silly in my 42 degree Bangkok outfit of T shirt and sandals, figured out the money, haggled with the taxi driver and headed into town.
Istanbul - Constantinople a mega 22 million people city spanning 2 continents and just oozing history. Crossed the Bosphorus and arrived early in the morning at our very comfortable 4 star Midtown hotel. (Big change from Asia) Changed into something warmer headed out had a tasty kebab from a street vendor, did some people watching, these Turks sure can smoke, a national pastime, bought some sleeping tablets with instructions in Turkish, closed the curtains and dropped into Lala land for 6 hours.

I enjoy being part of IDS group - a departure from the fiercely independent small business operator I have always been, IDS group is a crazy, chaotic, slightly eccentric but smart and challenging group of individuals. We meet once and sometimes twice a year in exotic locations to talk shop and party. Prague, Marrakech, Milan, Barcelona, Den Hague. It is an intense 4 days of burning the candle at both ends. All day meetings and then nights eating at great restaurants, experiencing the best tourist attractions and nightlife on offer. The company motto – “Life is too short to drink cheap white wine”. Istanbul was no exception and 4 days went in a blur.

So here I am 11pm sitting in a darkened departure lounge waiting to fly back around the world to join my family in Bangkok. Airports are strange places and at the moment half the people are wearing masks for the swine flu, this reminds me of giant ants nests with each individual ant hurrying on their own mission, sometimes meeting briefly, moments of intimacy, connections made and lost and then off we each go heading back into our own labyrinth.

I DID IT FOR MY HUSBAND

We had seen signs up everywhere for the half moon party, and whilst I was sort of reluctant, I knew it was something Craig would love to do.

We started the evening at a bar near us and had hooked up with a few people who would share a taxi to the party. Nice people 2 girls from Germany, Catherine ourselves, Joquim and some guy who moaned the whole way about how expensive the taxi was- (I would have loved to say something but hey, I'm chilled so just smiled and thought - shut-uuuup) In the bar a local called Gak (I know but it is a Thai name and probably sounds beautiful to them) made a mushroom shake, it looked too hideous for words, I had to decline although the others didn't , then off on the back of a bakkie with bench seats on a shit road mmm (was I firkin mad, what would our boys do if anything happened) the driver god bless his soul Mr. Handsome loved him as he was sent from heaven safe slow responsible driver - I was sooo going home with him

We arrived and my first feeling was ………..

This is so contrived!!!!!

on the walk up to the party locals sit waiting to pounce on you – offering all kinds of drugs and selling body painting, standing with pointer sticks and you point to a psycadellic picture you wanted painted somewhere on your body part with allot of Baht (moola)
Food stalls every thing from pizza to revolting sausage, Thai food, falafel (always an Israeli at a party selling a falafel)
Bars that sell buckets with local rum - and a variety of additions
Lots of visual entertainment (psychedelic kind)
Lots of very DRUNK farangs and Thai's
mmmmmm it was gonna be a long night
There was a Reggae band to start which were quite good in a Thai island kind of way - no woman no cry,
Then the heavy trance started
Craig went skipping off to do his sweet smiley trance dance and I watched with fascination at the goings on.
A voyeur all evening was I and some of the things I saw!!
you know the kind of guy that is definitely not cool, he has newly acquired Thai pants on with his t-shirt off and tucked into the back of his pants, slightly podgy (and white obviously a new arrival) he had painted on each of his arms - the first was lips with the seductive tongue sticking out !!!!And on the other arm 7eleven????????????????????Huh
After about 3 hours (yes I did it) you know that movie, she is just not that into you, well I felt like, I just can't get into this. I was reaching the end of my tolerance level and left a message for Craig that he would find me outside.

This is so contrived!!!!! on the walk up to the party locals sit waiting to pounce on you – offering all kinds of drugs and selling body painting, standing with pointer sticks and you point to a psycadellic picture you wanted painted somewhere on your body part with allot of Baht (moola)

Food stalls every thing from pizza to revolting sausage, Thai food, falafel (always an Israeli at a party selling a falafel)

Bars that sell buckets with local rum - and a variety of additions
Lots of visual entertainment (psychedelic kind)
Lots of very DRUNK farangs and Thai's

mmmmmm it was gonna be a long night

There was a Reggae band to start which were quite good in a Thai island kind of way - no woman no cry,

Then the heavy trance started......

Craig went skipping off to do his sweet smiley trance dance and I watched with fascination at the goings on.

A voyeur all evening was I and some of the things I saw!! ..... you know the kind of guy that is definitely not cool, he has newly acquired Thai pants on with his t-shirt off and tucked into the back of his pants, slightly podgy (and white obviously a new arrival) he had painted on each of his arms - the first was lips with the seductive tongue sticking out !!!!And on the other arm 7eleven????????????????????Huh

After about 3 hours (yes I did it) you know that movie, she is just not that into you, well I felt like, I just can't get into this. I was reaching the end of my tolerance level and left a message for Craig that he would find me outside.

I was sitting opposite the food stall and this REALLY drunk girl all sweaty - makeup gone awry look about her, staggered and weaved up to a food stall pointed to a kebab and a revolting looking sausage both on a stick, took about three weaves and a lot of concentration to pay with the right bills - she staggered over and sat down next to me weaving and rolling - she was out of it, after nearly impaling her eye with the kebab stick she latched onto the kebab and bit down, it was tough so she was pulling hard with her teeth, yess! she got her bite, but her co-ordination was so impaired that as the rest of the kebab was freed - it flew into the air and all the dogs milling around pounced and devoured it in a second, she was confused for a moment - looked at her empty hand and then started talking to the dogs, whilst doing so her multi-tasking skills had lapsed and her last remaining food item the revolting sausage gently rolled off her plate into the sand - the dogs were there in a second, OHHH, I was laughing so hard by this stage.

Let’s just say it was the highlight of my evening - reality entertainment!

The trip home was funny too and we had a few drunk girls who were talking such hog wash one of them a South African living in London who whilst sober has this very affected poncey accent, but while drunk it keeps slipping from slur to south African, ha-ha, so Bust!!!!

Ok so been there done that got the badge, in fact I felt like I needed an endurance badge.
The thing is, - Full moon party started 20 years ago by a few traveling hippies and now they have full moon parties , half moon parties, black moon parties after parties 2 days before parties 2 days after parties , pool parties, where is the hippie soul in all of that, I would have been happier in the Yai Bar just down the beach from us , plays groovy sexy music , you can swim if you get to hot and well, its far cooler than crowds of sweaty drunk, high, young , I think I have been there and got the badge, I want soul !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Craig left for Istanbul and we are schooling till lunch and chilling for the day Bill played in the 5 o’clock local soccer game - must say he is braver than me. It looks pretty hardcore - go Bill
Nicky made friends with some local kids at Central gets to have free pool games must say the kid’s skills in Fuzeball and pool improving.

Koh Phagnan finding paradise

We arrive on Koh Phagnan on a Sunday without really knowing where we are going, trusting the universe (who sends us a tout, a good saleswoman at that!) and head straight to the bungalows the tout on the boat finds us (my worst are touts they bloody work you over - but we decided - tired and sleep a priority it will be ok for one night). Whilst it is ok, clean and with a pool its not where we wanna be - too close to the ferry and the lady boy bars, perfect for the sex tourist not us we want fantastic remote beach where we can swim in the sea and little or no distractions (like shopping!).

We hire a jeep and decide to do one more night where we are and find our home for the next 10 days. Mmmm well the jeep is a little Suzuki. Kids are squashed in the almost non existent back seat, we set off on our mission , we had been advised that the roads are pretty bad UNDERSTATEMENT of the century they are terrible, kids squabbling, us irritated with them, they obviously just don't understand our mission.......

We spend most of the day on the road and did the easiest road first, we found nothing that blew our skirt up, we went to Had rin (where the full moon parties are held), definitely not for us, by this stage the boys squabbles had escalated into full blown warfare, Nicky and I still having tummy troubles and having to make up stories for our pit stops at unlikely guesthouses without them knowing that all we needed was THE TOILET NOW. So we took a group decision to take the kid’s home to swim and head out on our own.

The road to Thong Nai pan nai is really bad and with a jeep that has no shocks, smooth tires and an engine that should be retired - it is quite a long and interesting journey, we decided to go there as some other travelers had told us about a place called Dolphin Bungalows, finally arrived and liked what we saw (the beach was amazing), but I (Lou) felt that Dolphin was not really what we wanted, and it was the wrong side of the beach - well it felt like that to me. I decided to walk the beach, I went into every resort and bungalow and finally found our home Candle Hut bungalows, they have new Zen (stunning) ones and older more traditional ones the older ones had what we wanted -A family room. (well family rooms are not for honeymoon couple or an active sex life - but hey we could always get creative - long showers etc :) yahh mission accomplished, we arranged for them to pick us up from Thong salan the next day and started our harrowing journey back in the dark on a shit road. I needed a stiff drink - in fact if I had a bottle of whiskey on the road I probably would have finished it, so we settled for beer and a quart was gone in a sec. We had to turn aircon off and grate into first every time we got to a hill, all ended well and we went of for a pizza - the last day of a dodgy tummy nothing like boring western food /bread to stop the runs.

Whilst Craig excited at the prospect of being able to work again (he was getting twitchy) he missioned to get connected - with not a lot of success - can you imagine how that affected us, mmm lets just say the 1st few days were interesting, here we were in Paradise and it was all a bit heavy.

What a difference a day makes! Once he was connected and sorted (it happened by accident he just picked up someone’s WIFI at our resort - perfect) it all got better and so the fun began. So did school work, the first day of math’s was as if Nicky had ants in his pants, but as the days go by its easier to get them both going. Bill has only had one email and he has accomplished all his tasks, if I don't have an eagle eye Nicky pops up his face book, so its constant - I think teachers should be applauded daily imagine doing this with 20+ kids every day - all day.

On the first day we arrived Craig went off to discover whilst I unpacked and made house, Nicky came running in at some stage to inform me Craig was talking to a girl on the beach who had NO TOP ON!!! When I asked if she had nice boobs, he wasn't very impressed, there he was looking after my interests and I was being Glib, no top ended up being Catherine from Sydney and a yoga teacher - weehee as the yoga studio in town was closed for renovations. Thank you universe!!

Kayaking to Vientiane and onto the Islands down South

We woke up early and got into the back of a truck with canoes stacked up to the sky and hit the windey road, a Dutch girl who had a dogey stomach and gets car sick was in with us - another barf bag, and my tissues and wet wipe later she sheepishly with many apologies started looking helpless holding the bag and not sure what to do with it. Craig who was sitting next to her and looking rather green himself told her this is not Holland toss the bag out the truck.We arrived at our canoe stop and hit the river anticipating 2, 3 and 4 grade rapids and watched our bags disappearing over the hill on the truck destined for our end point, wondering if we would ever see them again.

Lou partnered with Bill, Nick with Craig, I definitely lucked out with Bill he and I were a team and he worked hard, Nicky on the other hand played the fool the whole trip and at one point as I canoed past he was lying back and using the paddle pretending to be doing bench press, he definitely is training to be Mr. Funny guy. We stopped before the big rapids, climbed out and walked round to check them out and then got a vague go to the middle mmmm, who bloody thought of this. Anyway Janine and Lawrence, me and Bill ended up capsizing, no one injured so all ok, they made us lunch on the side of the river little kebabs, with baguettes, the last part of the journey got a bit long in the tooth and I think we all lost our sense of humor, anyway at least the car to Vientiane was air-conditioned and a mini bus.

We got dropped off and walked towards town and the river all a bit frayed at the edges and there like a mirage in the desert was a shiny new hotel, I was saying in my mind – that’s for me and then Janine god bless her soul said it, we walked in did the deal and had shiny new bathrooms and rooms, what a pleasure. Hit a local expat French restaurant and tucked into steaks and red wine for a change and languished in our aircon rooms seeing what had happened in the outside world in the last few weeks, elections SA! Viva Zuma!

The next day awoke to no electricity, no aircon, no money and temperatures soaring. Realized my mobile had been switched of and packed in the bottom of my bag for two weeks, not missing it at all!

We have been in Laos about 2 weeks now, for a communist country it has been remarkably free and easy but time to move on. Bus to border, border crossing, overnight train to Bangkok, and flight to the South and the islands. All accomplished in 24 hours, its amazing how organized travel is in this part of the world. Small operators, very entrepreneurial and cheap, SA could pick up some good tips here.

Decided on new financial plan for the boys - pocket money 250 bahts each every three days. Arrived at Bangkok airport and both boys blew their new found wealth in one go on Sushi. Took Nicky a 10 baht bet to eat a big blob of Wasabi, should have seen his face on his first Wasabi rush priceless!

Raiders of the lost ark

We woke up and headed for more caves these ones you swim through, same turquoise color tunnels heading into the mountain. After an initial recci, Lawrence the Canadian, myself (Craig) and the boys wrapped the one headlamp we had in a left over blue barf bag from the bus and descended from the 40+ degrees outside into the bowels of the earth, a combination of cool water and chilled mountain air. Great adventure ahead!

Once you go round a few bends with the odd bump of your head or toes the natural light disappears completely. Now we were reliant on the headlamp, Lawrence and I took turns swimming one handed with the torch held aloft. Eventually after a few forks it dawned on us that if the torch dies or if we drop it we were going to be in big trouble and reach a silent unanimous cave decision to turn round and head back to the light!

Headed back to the caves from the previous day- the scenery is SICK (stupidly beautiful)– time for the meditation lesson. On the way I (Lou) got a flat tyre, everyone was ahead so Nicky jumped off and we drove/ walked slowly until I got to a guy who? – fixes tyres. The old way with a hot iron compressor thing. Craig by this time arrived in a cloud of dust to see what happened. I waited patiently until my tube was repaired (R20) whilst Craig and Nicky went ahead to a rickety 4 table restaurant to order noodles and papaya salad. In these little places everything is made from scratch in a tiny kitchen so food comes out fresh in dribs and drabs as each dish is completed. You get to taste everyone else’s food whilst waiting perfect!

Its one thing going caving with a slightly gung ho Canadian and quite another leading your wife and 2 boys in sans the psycho, no warnings, no signs, no guides, no entrance fee you are on your own, needless to say we never got round to meditating but everyone’s comfort zones were stretched to the limit by the end of the caving expedition.

Another long beautiful day of adventure. At the end of the day I think it was Janine that suggested we kayak to Vientiane to avoid another 3 hour bus trip - through a combination of swirling endorphins, cold Loa beer and too much sun we made a decision to go for it!

Barf Bus to Vang Vienne

Another lesson learned NEVER go on a Double Decker bus with a dodgy tummy through truly exceptional windey roads (I thought the trip to Pai was bad)

It started with loud music of George Michael – "Careless Whisper" (how apt kitsch as hell and soooooooooo Asian) little did I know that song was the only saving grace it was the barf bag journey from hell.

When you high up in a bus you weave and roll, I (Lou) had direct vision of a girl two seats up vomiting in her bag, it took all my mind control not to join her and so I have committed "Careless Whisper" to my mind and I cant get it out. 7hrs on a bus with people barfing in a bag and trying hard not to join them makes a girl love kitsch.

Vang Vienne was such a fab surprise, Janine (Canadian friend) swooped up to the train station in a tuk tuk to wisk us away to the best little spot on the river cutie pie bungalows yahh we were so relieved to arrive and have accommodation sorted.

Arrived around 3pm went straight out and rented motor bikes, no more scooters so decided to practice getting the hang of gears on this wide road which turned out to be the runway. Eeks we made a hasty lurching departure and headed for the caves and water.

On the way to the swim we drove through landscape that were jaw dropping exquisite, lots of little villages- children, puppies, dogs, chickens scratching, the occasional pig, edging our bikes through herds of cows. We finally arrived at the swimming hole, the rocks have a patina of polished gemstones and it gives the water an effervescent blue turquoise colour , quite unbelievable and incredibly inviting especially when there is a huge tree that you can climb and throw yourself in the water from it, Bill went to the highest one and I couldn’t look!

Lawrence and I (craig) got some food for thought from a local, borrowed 2 lamps and headed into the deepest caves I have ever been in, it was a real adventure. Up in the first big immense cavern was a Buddhist alter illuminated by a light source from high on up. So being in a creative frame of mind decided to get Lou and the Boys up the next day, go into the deepest darkest cavern and give them a crash course in meditation.

We headed back to town around sunset – roughly a 10 km journey through tiny little one restaurant villages negotiating wooden suspension bridges where you have to drive on a raised ridge about 600 mm wide, with that and bumpy dirt roads it was a real baptism of fire for us on new bikes. Hiring a bike is really casual here, you haggle over a price using mainly sign language and a calculator with various options on 1 day, 2 days and extended periods hand over your passport and of you go, no paperwork, no licenses, no helmet, I love it.

Showered and headed to town desperate for some western food and found this funky bar that served pizza. It had a pool table and before we knew it the boys were playing pool and hustling with vibey aussies and kiwi boys and girls. I was in heaven a glass of wine and a pizza woohoo, definitely was a good evening. Craig and Lawrence got pink tickets and hit the club section which consists of about 15 open air clubs along the river. At this time of the year everyone converges on the most popular one and we met all our loved up new best friends from our travels to date.

How to make a Green Papaya Salad

Whilst Louise is learning to cook me and the boys jumped in a taxi and went of to nearby waterfalls for the day. (See pictures) turquoise crystal clear deep pools, jumps, swings, climbs, lots of bikinis - boys stuff.

Afterwards whilst waiting for a taxi we stopped for my favorite meal meal, skewered chicken (or fish) on a stick, sticky rice, green papaya salad ……..and a quart of Laos Beer.

So this is how you make a Green Papaya Salad (Som Tum)
Use a big mortar and pestle
Chuck in a few small dried garlic cloves, leave husks on
Couple of dried red chilli’s
Spoon of Palm sugar (she used normal sugar)
A pinch of shrimp paste
Fish sauce (about 2 tablespoons)
Grind to a rough texture
Squeeze in juice of 1 or 2 small sweet limes and then roughly cut and add the rinds
Cut up and add a few rose tomatoes
Some baby dried shrimps if you like
Some roasted peanuts
A few roughly broken long green beans
*Skin and grate up enough green pawpaw for a good helping

Grind it all together so tomatoes kind of break up and all juices start flowing together nicely
Finding the Paw Paw is part of the planning, in SA we normally steal one from Justine and Marks tree which overhangs my parents balcony. If you jab a fork in and milk comes out its ready, it must be green and firm. Don’t fall out the tree now.

Sticky rice is easy, buy it from the Chinese shop, read the instructions.

See picture of chicken on stick, chicken cut up Chinese style loaded with one of Cape Herbs mixes or your favorite MSG concoction like in Thailand, baste with some peanut oil. Cook very slowly over coals. Slice the flesh into thick slices but leave on the bone, serves with a couple of limes.

Luang Prabang

Woke up to find this amazing town, it was previously a French colony so the buildings are soooooo Kapstadt International, French-Indochinese architecture, some of Laos best cuisine and most sacred Buddha image. It’s full of monks from tiny little boy monks to ancient wise old men all draped in my favorite colour orange.

First things first - a little walk to orient ourselves and then ……. A massage of course to smooth out the aches and pains - excruciating but hey afterwards you feel like a million dollars. Bill and Nick are now connoisseurs at massage.

While walking through this town each building is more charming than the next, lots of architectural ideas for Elands, this is a stunning town and I think we will be back.

First time I’ve ever seen Alms? (Where the monks walk around and people give them offerings, awesome sight all the monks) It starts at sunrise you hear the gongs from the Wats then they walk through the streets with these pots that people put there offerings into.

We also took ourselves off to the local theatre, being a Unesco world heritage town they preserve all heritage including theatre, it was well , mm fabulous costumes, lots of Wats,(wots a wat you may ask, a Budhist temple) the Kings Palace, also popped into the art academy and saw all the students art, impressive.

The thing is that I am such a foodie that if there is a food market I’m there, little prepared was I for the reality of Laos, The morning of the monk Alms, Craig and I stumbled upon the one in the old city, it was horrendous, how do you describe beautiful ½ meter lizards tied up I mean their front legs tied behind their backs, dead birds, small birds in cages dried rats/squirrels, all kinds of bugs, dead and alive (saw a lady working on a big bowl of bugs emitting rustling sounds, removing the big legs so the bugs cant crawl out the bowl straight out of raiders of the lost ark), made me feel queasy and tearful, Craig wanted to buy all the lizards and set them free.

Tamarind – is the name of a good restaurant and cookery school, owned by a Laos man and his Australian wife. They do a whole fish packed with lemongrass and herbs wrapped in banana leaves and baked on a barbecue, it was a three course meal , wonderful, and so I arranged to come back for a cooking class – perfect last day in Louang.

Phabang.

On my cooking course with the first signs of a dodgy stomach we headed early for the very un-touristy local market and all was well until the guy said anyone vegetarian or squeamish should wait by the car, ohhh do I wish I had listened to my tummy, how do you describe this meat market , well an abundance of flies, no refrigeration, congealed blood thickened with rice flour (people eat this) pigs heads – a delicacy, eggs with numbers on mean embryos inside and people buy these for more money and eat it (a combo of egg and chicken taste I guess) YUUUUK, also buffalo skin with the hair and fat in strips they liken it to biltong cook it on the Barbie and yes well eat it too, I think the worst for me was the womb of a water buffalo with a baby inside, ok it was just the end for me I ran for the car.

The cooking course was superb and would have been exceptional barring the fact I had the first dodgy tummy since our journey began, I learned the essence of Laos cooking which I can’t wait to share with all of you so no info.

So with another 6 hours on a bus trip the next day we have opted for a VIP air-conditioned bus with a toilet. (We are learning!)

Pak Beng to Vang Veiene

We had a late start with the boat as some tossers woke up late and the boat won’t leave until everyone’s on, lots of stunning backpackers. The thing about westerners is we are so focused on instant gratification, and when you travel this way you really get to slow down, you cannot throw a western tantrum and demand to start the boat, they would look at you as if you were quite mad, it is such a good lesson on stillness, inside and out, it takes TIME, while you are on the journey find joy, stretch sleep (on the floor) play cards, read, speak to others including the locals- hear their storey, broaden your mind watch how others live along the way. Amazing scenery- incredible settlements and people, so simple yet beautiful. I watched our sons accept the time and even though we got “when are we gonna get there?” a few times – guess who???

Bill personified his Buddha nature and was amazing no complaints, he went with the flow, Nicky was entertaining, irritating and then started sitting at the periphery of some young backpackers playing cards, next thing he was in playing and speaking with all these young people, he eventually got his dad and Bill to join the game, he has a knack that one - MR Personality.

We finally got to Luang Prabang late and tired beyond explanation, puffy ankles from no exercise, we found an expensive but stunning guest house and booked in – the hunt for the real one was the next morning’s mission. (Which made our French owner very grumpy – but hey that’s normal for the French) oh and mission accomplished next door stunning Laos people and rooms at half the price, clean – aircon, what more could a family want.

That night it was the best exfoliation, shower, hair wash I have ever experienced, there is something quite spiritual in those first moments of being clean; you can face the world again!